Ten Thousand Drops of Blood
by Rosabell
Summary: This is just whim. Syaoran falls into depression. Very short. Do not kill me. R R please. Do not flame either.
1. Default Chapter

Ten Thousand Drops of Blood  
  
Chapter 1  
  
I never really knew what it was like to feel half dead. The Final Judgment was just a judgment, no more. And just because Sakura won and I lost doesn't mean I'm worthless, right? Then how come I feel so worthless? How come I feel so tired, so lifeless, a withering leaf blown away the wind. Why do I feel so empty inside? Did I lose more then I thought? Did I lose more then the Clow Cards?  
  
School went on as normal, with Sakura very happy and proud. I am proud of her, relieved that the job was done. I am proud that she was successful. That she is capable of accomplishing something I cannot. And even though I feel half dead and completely forgotten, I still bask in her happiness. She had won, and that's all that matters.  
  
After the Final Judgment I didn't bother keeping up my reputation or sense of honor, although that still probably stayed with me. I didn't care though. People can laugh at me if they want. Something inside me was lost. Something had died. And the thing was, I didn't try to get it back. I feel so lonely. I want to go home. Living in Japan had been nerve wrecking. I know how to speak Japanese, but I longed for a chance to speak my best language. I want the comforts of family. I had never realized how important it was until now. Never had I felt so alone, without any support. Without any support.  
  
  
  
It was a Saturday. Sakura had invited me over to her house along with Tomoyo. Eriol had already finished his business. That day Touya had opened the door and I just went on in. I didn't care if he glared at me or not. I was pondering on what I had lost. I lost so much in my life.  
  
" Konbonwa, Syaoran-kun!" Sakura smiled. " How are you?"  
" I'm fine." I answered quietly, managing to muster up a smile. " How's everything going?"  
" Alright. Kero-chan is in the kitchen with Yukito. I'll bring you guys tea." Sakura went into the kitchen. I blushed a little, but I soon went off into my own world. Perhaps I should buy some clothes for my sisters and some kind of jewelry for my mother. They would like that.  
  
" Syaoran-kun, are you alright?" This time, Sakura seemed concerned. I blinked, and then nodded.  
" Of course I am. I was just thinking about doing some shopping in a few days."  
" Running out of clothes, eh? You can always ask Tomoyo-chan to do the tailor work for you, you know."  
I smiled again. It felt very weird, smiling. " I guess. But..." I decided not to mention it.  
" But what?" Sakura asked, completely oblivious. " Is everything alright?"  
" Ah, sure." I answered. " Everything's alright, I guess."  
  
Tomoyo and Eriol looked at me strangely. I leaned back. Then, having nothing to do, I decided to go help Sakura with her cooking. We were going to have dinner here, after all.  
  
I was not a bad cook, naturally. But it turned out I was a bad, well, of course, it was all an unconscious work of effort. I didn't eat anything last night nor this morning, which might have been bad for my mental health. I was trying to repress the stomach grumbles and was succeeding, fortunately.   
  
" Arigatou, Syaoran-kun." Sakura smiled at me. " You were always very good at cooking."  
" No problem." I answered. I sighed.  
" So how is it like in Hong Kong?"  
  
I stopped for a moment because I was thinking about going back. I was slightly startled.  
" Oh, fine I guess. Nothing special." I answered.  
" I should like to visit that place."  
" I would too." I answered absently, then stopped. Sakura looked at me weirdly.  
" Were you thinking about going back?' She stopped as well, asking me very cautiously, with a half pleading look in her eyes.  
  
I knew I was a bad liar. I didn't know how to get out of this one, so all I said was maybe. Sakura fell silent. I briefly wondered why. It wasn't as if she wanted me to stay or anything. After all, I am of no more use here. I was getting seriously homesick. I wanted my mother, as all children do. I wanted my family.  
  
" When?" She asked finally.  
" Depends." I answered. " When I feel like it, I guess." Namely now. I turned off the fire and lifted the pot, and poured the contents into the bowl. Fujitaka was also a good cook, I was thinking, but he was off on that trip of his.  
" Well," Sakura looked at me hopefully. When I didn't give her an answer, she sighed, and continued to work.  
  
Touya was in the kitchen with us and I ignored him completely. He said nothing that day, I really didn't know why. No glaring attacks, nothing. For a while there wasa silence, except for the oil sizzling, and finally, the meal was basically finished, save for the rice that was needed and some chopsticks.  
  
The dinner was good.  
" You are a great cook, Li-san." Eriol smiled at me. I didn't feel like answering. I never liked him anyway.  
" Hai." Tomoyo agreed. " This is one of the best I've ever tasted. Where did you learn how to cook?"  
" From Hong Kong, of course. I learned how to cook when I was seven." I shrugged. " That's basically it, I guess. Sakura did most of the cooking though. How did you know I made that?"  
" Because I saw you, baka." Tomoyo teased. They all laughed, except for Touya, who was sitting next to Sakura and Tomoyo.  
  
" This is some kind of dinner." Eriol smiled. " We're all related to magical works and all that. I mean, Fujitaka does not know anything yet. Although he soon will."  
" I guess." Sakura smiled. " When are you leaving, Eriol?"  
" Oh. In twoweeks. Or later, it depends on what happens. If we suddenly have a ferocious thunderstorm I can't go."  
  
They laughed. I poked at my food. I wasn't very interested in eating.  
  
" Syaoran-kun, are you alright?" Sakura asked, for the third time. " You seem a bit out lately."  
" I am. Why?"  
" Well, for one thing, you didn't really talk much. And you seem to be in your own world most of the time."  
" Well, I was just..." I decided not to say that I was thinking about going home. " Pondering on things, I guess. It just feels strange, with everything gone and settled. You wouldn't even have thought that everything had happened during this time."  
" What do you mean?" Eriol asked, politely, as usual. This time I wasn't answering him. I was answering the whole group.  
" Well, everything's normal now." I shrugged. " Eriol's going back to England. All the cards are captured. All the strange stories are gone. This story has basically ended."  
  
All of them stopped at that. Sakura looked at me, as did the rest, seeming to be pondering whether there was a meaning behind my words. For a while we sat, silent as stone, all of them looking at me and me looking at all of them until everyone was very uncomfortable. I suddenly realized why, and blushed in embarrassment.   
  
" Iie, I don't mean it that way." I quickly explained. " It's just that the action is basically over so soon. I couldn't imagine that so much had happened already."  
  
They relaxed a bit. I was relieved. I went on poking my food. So I am a bad socialist. What can I do?  
  
  
  
It was after school right after soccer practice the next time the whole group was going to gather. I was running a little late because my zipper on my backpack broke. I never did catch up with them.  
  
I was listening to Yamazaki, with my hand on the wall supporting myself. How it got to the door frame I have no clue, but somehow it did. One of the students tried to close the door.  
  
My hand was at the back of the door, opposite the doorknob. So imagine having a nut cracker attempting to crack your fingers instead of nuts. That's how much it hurts. I let out a loud yell, and a young child, a second grader, perhaps, reopened the door.  
" Gomen," He said in a small voice. I did not answer. I was holding my third, fourth, and pinky, which had been nearly crushed. I couldn't answer him; I was in too much pain. I knew they weren't broken or anything like that, but it was so painful, so painful. Yamazaki winced, then went on talking, and eventually I couldn't hear him anymore. I thought briefly, very practical, I think I'm going to go into shock. Just then, darkness swirled around my eyes, and then...  
  
I knew I was dreaming. I knew I dreamt a whole lot of things, a whole lot of things, like memories or just plain imagination. When I woke up I half expected to be in bed, woken up in the morning. But when I saw Yamazaki; he was the first person I saw, I figured something was wrong. The I became very confused. Is this a dream or is it real? But the colors...the colors hurt my eyes. They were real alright. Someone shouted, ' He fainted.' I shot up, blinking.  
" What happened?" I asked. I was surprised at how weak my voice sounded.  
  
For a moment there was a silence. Then, Terada-sensei quickly supported me.  
" It's alright." He said. By that time, my mind, being perfectly clear, had already noticed the obvious. " You fainted."  
  
I felt so nauseous. I heard someone remark, " He's so pale, his lips are white." I didn't know where the others were and didn't want to. It was strange; I wasn't scared nor was I very confused. I had a clear mind and I knew what was going on. I knew my fingers weren't broken. But how come I'm still suffering the aftereffects? I never knew that people throw up...  
  
" I think I'm going to vomit." I begged.   
" Eriol! Bring a garbage can! Quick!" Terada-sensei called. And I threw up into the garbage can, noting that most of the contents was liquid.  
" Aiya, didn't eat today." I heard Terada-sensei murmur as he patted my back. " Good boy, that's it."  
  
Good boy. I thought bitterly. I am so tired. How come these things wouldn't stop? Why couldn't I just faint, wake up, and get over with it?  
  
" Syaoran-kun-"  
" Out of the way!" The teachers moved everyone. " Call the ambulence!"  
" No ambulence." I called, but they didn't listen to me.  
  
  
  
Normally I wouldn't have liked it if I fainted in front of everyone, but strangely I didn't care anymore. I didn't care about anything. I wouldn't have cared if I died, even.  
  
What would the world be like if it had no color? If everything was gray. Black and white. If there were no music and no sounds. If the world was empty. What would it be like? Would it be like death? Because when one is empty inside, everything else becomes empty. An empty laugh. Empty voice. Empty eyes. Empty dreams.  
  
When I came home, everything was still. Everything was dark. Feeling another spasm, I rushed for the bathroom, and vomited. But it wasn't vomit. It was blood. Where did the blood come from? I did not know. I swallowed, the attack had ceased. I wiped my mouth. I went to the bedroom to change. I didn't feel like brushing my teeth that day, nor taking a shower. I crawled into bed. And never woke up again.  
  
Owari 


	2. Chapter 2

Ten Thousand Drops of Blood  
  
Chapter 2  
  
Who knows how long Syaoran had been dead before we realized it. Who knows how long. For a long time we had wondered where he was, but finally we broke down the door and found Syaoran in his bed, as pale as the full moon.  
  
He died in his sleep, no doubt. Kero and I had found him. And for a while we didn't know what to do-we just stared at the young child, sleeping peacefully, as if all of his troubles are over. And in a sense, it is. Shuddering, I remembered what Yukito had heard him say. The story is basically ended.  
  
For a long while we remained at his bedside, unsure of what to do. And in a way it was far worse than how Clow had died, because he was so young. We did not know how he had died, or why. Was he sick all this time?  
  
" I can't believe it." Kero murmured. " I can't believe it. The kid's dead, Yue." " I know." I nodded, filled with sorrow. " But why? Such things only happened to those who are of age. He's so young." " What should we do?" Kero asked, so quiet I could barely hear him. " What should we do? Doubtless his family does not know of this." " His hands are so cold." I felt the child's hands, squeezing them. " I guess we should tell his family. Unless we can revive him." " No magic can do that Yue." Kero pointed out. " It's not our power."  
  
I sighed. " Poor child."  
  
  
  
" Nani?" Touya blinked, incredulous. " You can't be serious! He's only what, ten years old, and turning eleven-that can't be! You're crazy!" " Iie, To-ya." Yukito said sadly. " Kero and Yue found him in his apartment." " Is he still there?" " Well, hai, because they didn't really know what to do with him." I sighed inwardly. We're going back there again. I just know Touya would- " I have to see for myself." Touya stood up and grabbed a coat. " I don't believe this. I'm going to see for myself."  
  
Yukito sighed and followed him out.  
  
  
  
" Oh my god." Touya blinked back the tears after he felt his heart and pulse. " He's actually dead. He's really dead." He sat there, shaking his head in disbelief. " Sakura would be devastated." " So would his family." I answered quietly. " Who knows how long he's been this way. His body is still limp, but it's been a day now. Some kind of magic is protecting him." " Poor boy," Touya shook his head, then took the child's cold hand, squeezing it sorrowfully. " But it doesn't make sense. It just doesn't." " I know" I answered, leaning back, folding my wings. " He's very young." " Too young." Touya sighed. Then he slowly lifted Syaoran's body. " You say he's been this way for a day already. But there's no stench." " No stench." I blinked. " That doesn't make sense either. He's been this way before we found him, no doubt. Perhaps it has been weeks. I don't know." " Definetely some magic is at work here." Touya lifted Syaoran's head and cradled it gently. " Could it be from despair? Some people die from giving up.but he seemed alright before. Why now?" " I don't know." I answered. " I don't know." " I can't believe it." Touya blinked, and I saw that he was crying. I realized I was crying too. " He was alright that night, I mean, sure he was quiet and, and," Touya held the dead child close. " This is not right at all."  
  
  
  
" I knew it." Eriol had a blank look on his face. " I knew it. He has been dead.for several weeks now. I just didn't believe it, really. Didn't want to believe." " Do you know why?" I asked. Ruby Moon and Spinel were staring at me. They didn't know. " Iie." Eriol said hesitantly. " I do not. I knew something bad will happen but.but not this, I mean, this is.this just doesn't make sense." He fell silent.  
  
I realized with a sudden chill that even Eriol was shakened badly. I sighed. Perhaps Syaoran really did mean more than we had thought. I wondered how Sakura was going to take this. Perhaps not well.  
  
" We have to tell her." Ruby Moon said softly, as if reading my thoughts. " We can't keep this a secret forever." " No we can't." I shook my head. " But who's going to tell her?" " Hopefully Touya." Eriol muttered. " He's the best one; he knows his sister better than any of us."  
  
  
  
Sakura had a look of pale death on her face the next time we met her. She looked so weak and devastated Touya almost wished he never told her.  
  
We couldn't reach the Li clan. We didn't know their phone number and since Syaoran knows it by heart, he never wrote it down. So Meiling never knew, his mother never knew. No one knew.  
  
Sakura slowly recovered, but things weren't the same. For a long time everything was quiet. We all felt the loss. We were all shakened. It didn't make sense. Syaoran was young. Syaoran was healthy. Healthy, youthful people aren't supposed to die in their sleep. Healthy, youthful people shouldn't die period.  
  
  
  
One day Sakura and the rest of them gathered in Penguin Park near the slide. " I had the weirdest dream." Sakura had said. " There was a wind that carried many things. A voice that whispered, ' when a child is lost he goes to the world of.mystical dreams', at least that's.what I think it said." " When a child is lost?" I asked. " He's lost alright. We lost him." " But.the way the voice said it, it means he's.lost." Sakura looked defeated. I knew what she meant though. As did Eriol. " Who was that voice?" Eriol asked. " I don't know." Sakura stared at me. " I think it was some kind of sign."  
  
  
  
" Hey!" Touya yelled as I snatched the book from him. " What was that for?" " We're going." I said, hurriedly. " I don't know what Eriol has in mind but you better get off that chair. Here." I tossed him a coat. " It's going to be cold." " What are you talking about? It's twenty-four degrees out there!" Touya grumbled. We use Celsius, after all. " It's spring!" " We're going up." I answered. " Really up." " Nani? Yah!" Touya called as I wrapped my arms around him and flew up.  
  
" Alright, now that you've made your point, where are we going?" Touya asked after he calmed down. " I'm not sure." I answered truthfully. " But I know when to land, if that helps you any. If you're asking what are we going for, well, Sakura's dream means more than you think." " And that means?" " That means we might have a chance to find Syaoran." " Find the kid? But didn't he go to wherever he went? How do you propose we follow him to the.land of mystical dreams?" " He's lost, Touya." I answered, dodging a high tree. " If he's found, he might return. His death is unnatural, you said so yourself. Sakura and Eriol thinks there's some magic at work."  
  
That silenced him. Touya asked no more questions. I slowed for a minute, trying to sense the aura. Then I made a sharp turn. Touya cried out, startled. I forgot he never actually flew, much less outside an airplane.  
  
  
  
When we arrived most of our group is there. Tomoyo wasn't coming, so in reality we were all there. Eriol was sitting on the ground, meditating, while Sakura hugged her brother and refused to let go.  
  
I had no time for that nonsense.  
  
" What is Eriol doing?" " He's trying to locate Syaoran." Ruby Moon answered. " We saw his shadow a few minutes before you came. Eriol's trying to lure him in." " Why is he luring him?" " Beats me. Seems like Li is running away from us somehow. He's desperately trying to go back to Hong Kong, but for some reason always came back here." " How did you know he's trying to go back?" " Eriol guessed. I don't know. That's all I can tell you. Eriol said that Li's shadow was restlessly trying to reach Sakura.the only problem was when any one of us gets near her he disappears. Sakura said that his shadow is drawn towards you somehow too. Only a lot more timidly." " What do you say to that?" " I honestly have no clue what they're talking about. I did not sense any shadow. Kero and Spinel didn't either." " Oh." I paused. " It makes sense in a way." Ruby went on. " Quite frankly, Li is interested in Sakura all along, everyone knows that except Sakura." She made a face. " So of course Li would try to reach her. After all, if something is going on, well.she would be the first one he'd tell it to. But since he doesn't advance when someone else is nearby, the only other person he trusts, is you. The only problem is.you're not exactly alone either. He could give the message to any of us, but he's not particularly close to Kero, and you know the relationship between Eriol and Li. I seemed to have given him the impression that I don't care what happens to him, and Spinel really doesn't care. Touya and Li had quite a history of glaring contests, so of course he wouldn't be able to come." " That doesn't explain why he wants to go to Hong Kong so badly." " We don't know whether he's trying to go to Hong Kong or not, Yue." Ruby snapped. " He's just heading in that direction. For all we know he might be trying to reach Singapore."  
  
That was a lot of information to digest, and I took some time digesting it.  
  
" So.why is Eriol trying to lure him?" " Ano.this is the interesting part. Eriol said something about telling the whole group would be better. He's trying to trap him with his mind." " That won't work. Syaoran's smarter than that."  
  
Ruby Moon cocked an eyebrow. " How do you know?" " Syaoran's not a baka, Ruby. He's very smart. I just have a feeling that wouldn't work. Either Sakura or I would have to talk with him privately." " Well, just in case you're wrong, we'll wait until Eriol gives up." Ruby sat down, rubbing her arms. " I can't believe this is happening to us."  
  
  
  
We were at the mountains, in the middle where there was a large plateau ending with a small cave and several boulders. It was beginning to get chilly, for a few miles up snow is beginning to gather. There were hot springs and faint sounds of monkeys could be heard. Sakura had fallen asleep and Touya had tried to do the best he could to get some rest as well.  
  
Eriol sighed and shifted, moving for the first time since Touya and I arrived. " Syaoran is coming closer," He said, " But too cautiously for comfort. And unfortunately, he's moving very slowly. I doubt this would work." " Why is he so cautious anyway? We're his friends!" Kero snorted. " Some are more his friends than others." Eriol replied sadly. " In fact, if he really believed we were his friends, he probably wouldn't have lost himself in the first place." " It's a good thing we didn't bury him yet." Touya muttered. I nodded in agreement. " He's coming closer." Sakura blinked. " Hai." I sensed him too, now. " I'll go first, Sakura. You wait right here. For all you know, he might be a ghost."  
  
I do know how Sakura feels about ghosts. I wanted to see what Syaoran's intentions are. I have absolutely no idea whether or not ghosts have a change of character, so I wanted to make sure everything is alright.  
  
This time Eriol, looking rather weary, nodded to me and encouraged me to go along with my plan. I took a deep breath and went towards the direction of Syaoran's aura.  
  
When I got there, I saw a few stones and boulders lining up casually as nature was never orderly. Small weeds, rotting and brown, clasped on to the stone, mixed with dirt and pebbles. The dirt ground was completely smooth, having nevered been marred by the footsteps of man or beast. There was a vague shadow of a small child, wearing a vague hat and clothing with long, shapeless sleeves. But Syaoran was not there.  
  
Slightly discouraged, I called out his name. There was no answer. Not even the voice of the wind. Instead the shadow simply retreated a step, unconsciously showing every sign of fear and intimidation.  
  
Even more discouraged than before, but unwilling to give in, I knelt down on one knee, hoping that my figure would be less frightening. I did not know what had scared the child's shadow, the child's spirit, perhaps, but I knew it was something about me and I wished to mend that.  
  
" Syaoran, it's me." Things were never that simple. But the boy retreated no further. From the shadow two glowing eyes, like dark golden lamps, opened and stared into mine. I tried my best not to get lost into them, and succeeded for the most part.  
  
Good heavens.I thought briefly. What had scared him so?  
  
" Syaoran?" I called yet again. The eyes blinked, but he did not move.  
  
I was beginning to feel awkward.  
  
" Syaoran, you can trust me." I tried one more time.  
  
But the words seemed to have an opposite effect. The shadow of the poor child whipped around and fled. A blur of black and greenish mirk, it whipped through the stone, cutting through it, and then there was nothing.  
  
  
  
" He left in quite a hurry." Kero muttered apologetically. " Why is the kid afraid of you? You never did anything to him." " That was what I thought." I answered. " But apparently I did. He wouldn't come." " Two glowing lamps and a shadow?" Sakura shuddered.  
  
I sighed. I still didn't accomplish what I wanted to do. " I don't know what he has in mind." I sighed again. " The dead have strange notions."  
  
Sakura swallowed. " I just want him back." " We don't know if that may happen." Eriol stood up. " Syaoran. What happened to you?"  
  
And as if in answer, two glowing lights, brightened, then faded, into a darkness deeper than those of the night. 


	3. Chapter 3

Ten Thousand Drops of Blood  
  
Chapter 3  
  
I was troubled when Yue spoke of what had happened behind the mountain of boulders. Of course, I was troubled ever since my descendant had...  
  
I choose not to speak that word because we aren't sure if he is actually simply gone or otherwise. But his fear and mistrust made me even more uncomfortable. Syaoran should know that we would never do anything to harm him. Not that we could-a soul cannot be harmed by the hands of a mortal, which includes Kerberus and Yue, because mortal in this term does not simply mean a limited life. It means those that live in this realm.  
  
I was unwilling to admit that I was at loss, but I was. Syaoran's behavior concerned me deeply. But even as I searched my mind I couldn't come up with a single reason of why Syaoran would leave in the first place. Unless he was lost all along, but that couldn't be, right? That must not be.  
  
Yet the more I think about it, the more logical it became. It explained why Syaoran never smiled, for instance, or at least, I've never seen him smile. It explained why Syaoran never laughed. It explained why he was so focused on what he should do, rather than on what he wants to do. Who wouldn't want to go exploring when they reach a new country? But Syaoran got right down to business.  
  
And most of all, it explained why he was so quiet before that fatal night...  
  
  
  
" So what do you plan to do now?" Ruby asked.  
" I don't know." I answered.  
" Why is he so afraid?" Spinel asked.  
" I don't know."  
" You usually do." Ruby said quietly. " What now?"  
" Perhaps let either Sakura or Yue, or both, stay solitary. Perhaps Syaoran would come to one of them."  
" Sakura is afraid of ghosts. Yue is afraid of death." Ruby wrinkled her nose. " Neither are good options."  
" Perhaps if the two are together, alone, maybe."  
" But why is Syaoran only attempting to reach those two?" Ruby asked, indignant. " We're his friends as well."  
  
I said nothing, because, like before, I had no answer.  
  
  
  
Dawn. I am an early waker, but I woke this time way before the dawn. However, I stayed in bed until dawn came. I did not know why. Maybe because I didn't feel like facing the day yet. But night only lasts so long.  
  
When I did get up, Ruby and Spinel were already awake, bustling about with their daily chores. I did not feel like doing anything, but I felt since I am the master of this house I might as well. I couldn't help but wonder about Syaoran's actions, ever since he disappeared.  
  
As I was thinking about this, the doorbell rang, and in came Kaho.  
" Hello," She said in British. " I've heard of what had happened. Is everything alright?"  
" Well, if you speak of them physically, I suppose. Yes. Do come in."  
  
She entered somewhat stiffly, as if afraid of ghosts herself. Inviting her to sit down I was about to call Nakuru when she suddenly mentioned something that made me freeze.  
" He's been under much torment, Eriol. None of us really helped to figure that out, and the tests you gave to Sakura, involving him, didn't help him much."  
  
After a long pause I finally turned around to stare at her. Then I sat down as well.  
" So." I began. " This is perhaps, one of the reasons this happened anyway. That's why Syaoran wouldn't speak to any one of us."  
" Undoubtedly he wouldn't speak with Sakura if he could help it." Kaho replied in a matter of fact tone. " But I suppose he loves her enough to offer what little trust he could spare."  
" Why? Why does he have so little trust?"  
" I don't know. But you know how the child is. He is always cautious and wary of others. Always distancing himself. We've never really bothered finding out why."  
" True..."  
" I've seen many ten year olds, Eriol." Kaho shifted slightly. " Many ten year olds, other than you. Some are smart. Others are normal. But they are still children. Little children, no matter how much they deny it. They play in the playgrounds. They sit on swings. They act as grown up as they could, only to dirty their shirts like any other. Syaoran has never done that when he could help it. It's like he lost his inner child."  
" He does what he feels is right instead of what he wants." I admitted. " I know that."  
" Then perhaps we should have done something to change that." Kaho said softly. And she was right.  
  
  
  
It was several days later when Syaoran tried again. But it didn't work for some reason. Sakura did her best to get him to trust her, but he wouldn't speak. It was as Yue had described-a shadow, with no face and name, only two glowing eyes of dark gold that blinked and were filled with confusion.  
  
Surprisingly, Sakura wasn't afraid of him. But she was gravely hurt when he wouldn't speak to her, unable to understand the reason.  
  
" He just stands there." She said. " Just stands there, staring at me. Just staring, staring..."  
  
And I feel terrible as well. Because I couldn't tell her the reason. And I knew the reason.  
  
  
  
No face and no name. If Syaoran was so lost, then why is he repeatedly trying to reach us? Yet he never does, even when we allow him. There was no other force hindering him except himself. The next time Syaoran appeared it was beside Yukito, and this time it was...actually, it was Yukito who scared him off.  
  
" I screamed." He said, embarrassed. " And he fled. But it wasn't humanoid..."  
" What do you mean?" Touya had asked. I was curious too, and waited. Yukito blushed a dark red color. " His form became long and short. Like a...wolf?"  
  
Well, that made sense. There are some cultures that believe spirits can take a form of any animal they choose. And Syaoran, well, just chose...the wolf.  
  
  
  
Afterwards, I remember very clearly what had happened. This time, I found Syaoran. He was also looking for Sakura, heading in the direction of her house. But I stepped in the way. And I saw him myself for the first time.  
  
I understood why Yukito was startled. Syaoran was as black as the night he blended in. Save for the glowing eyes, he wouldn't have been there at all. But I startled him that time, and I heard him cry out in shock. We both froze, unable to decide what to do, and I found myself getting lost into the golden eyes, unable to tear away from them. Those same eyes searched mine, as if asking for a sign. When I gave none, Syaoran slowly turned, and slunked away. I didn't find him again that night.  
  
  
  
" If he's in the land of mystical dreams then what is he doing hanging around here at night?" Touya asked.  
  
I was seriously stumped on that one. So instead I did the Sakura thing to do. I kicked him. Lightly, but enough to shut him up. I did not feel like talking.  
" Baka." I lied. " What do you think?"  
" I don't know!" Touya blinked, confused, thinking that I knew the answer when I actually didn't. " I don't know Syaoran that well."  
  
I ignored him. I was feeling awful. That encounter with Syaoran did not raise my spirits.  
" Aha!" Kaho startled us both, making all of us jump.  
" What is it?" Sakura asked. " Did you find anything?"  
" Well, here's something very interesting." Kaho turned around. " It says in this book, that the World of Mystical Dreams is as close to Paradise as you can get. When a soul goes there, usually a person who has magical powers, he or she is able to stay there for all eternity, never to be reincarnated, and his or her body would be preserved. The souls are able to come back and forth through the worlds, and usually the heart rules over the mind...since souls...don't...really have minds..."  
  
At this I sat down rather heavily on the couch. The thought of brainless spirits was not comforting, but this explains why Syaoran is so desperate in death, more so than when he was alive. He was following his inner child, for once, if he ever has.  
  
Touya cursed under his breath. None of us paid any attention to him. Kaho blinked, realizing what we were thinking, hurriedly changed the subject.  
  
" When the soul is in this world, it exists as a shadow form, but it can be touched and captured...physically. Most spirits will not willingly follow mortals. Which explains why Syaoran is reluctant to talk with Sakura. She's a mortal, after...all." She stopped.  
  
" You're saying we have to...catch him." I swallowed. I didn't like the idea of ghost hunting and none of the others do either.  
" Capture him." Sakura said softly, lowering her eyes.  
  
" But it's not that simple." And then Kaho revealed what she and I had known all along. " The only reason we have to do this is because Syaoran is afraid of us."  
  
  
  
For a long time we were silent, with only the ticking of the clock to break the quiet. Sakura stared at Kaho with her eyes filled with sorrow. For a long time we were silent, not speaking a word. For a long time we sat there, and as if for the first time, realized what we have lost, and as if for the first time had succeeded in comprehending it. To capture Syaoran would be destroying the last strings of trust. But we need him alive. His death was unnatural, and since he's not really dead yet, this is the only thing we can do.  
  
  
  
Who would have known that the child was so sensitive! That the Final Judgment had wounded his pride and confidence, and hurted him so. Who could have known that the tests I've given Sakura had hurted him even more! But in truth, none of us understood him very well, nor did any of us bothered to find out. All of us were too concerned about the cards, and Sakura's magic, to remember that there was someone else in this as well. That there is someone else who needs just as much care and attention. Because Syaoran is the descendant of Clow Reed...after all...  
  
  
  
It was one rainy morning when I found myself recalling that day before Syaoran disappeared. He had fainted, I remember, from...crushing his fingers. Smiling at the memory, I also remembered what the teacher had commented. Syaoran didn't eat anything, and didn't eat much dinner that night either. This made me frown. No wonder. But it wasn't just the fainting. No one had took him home-he went by himself. Quite frankly no one was there. He was all alone.  
  
And then it occurred to me that maybe that was what Syaoran feels like now. All alone, and desperately trying to find what he had lost. 


	4. Chapter 4

Ten Thousand Drops of Blood  
  
Chapter 4  
  
Had I known that I was the one, perhaps I would have stopped it somehow. But how, I wonder. Perhaps go to his apartment that night, right before he sleeps, but no, it is too late now. Now the only thing left is to try to set things right again. As right as they may ever be.  
  
What good is the cards if they cannot bring back the one you love? I am the Card Mistress, a powerful sorceress. And I cannot bring Syaoran back. Perhaps Yue was right. I am too young. Perhaps, but one thing is certain. One way or another, we will get Syaoran back, force or no.  
  
And from Kaho's point of view, force is the only thing we can use.  
  
I remember when we first met Syaoran, all of us at once. Using his lasin board, Eriol located where Syaoran was hiding, and casting a spell to hide our auras, went to search for him.  
  
For an hour or so, Syaoran disappeared completely. According to both Kaho and Eriol, he should come back, as ghosts often do. For about an hour we sat there waiting for him. Then he did come back, but the lasin board pointed to another direction.  
  
Finally tired of flying, I summoned the Move Card. And then for a brief second Syaoran turned and we saw his ghostly form.  
  
Oh gods, he was white, as white as fallen snow, white as the face of the full moon. His entire form was white, skin as pale as snow, his hair, white as the shadows are black, with only a tint of brown. His brows, his eyelashes, all ghostly white, with the tints of brown as the light shone upon him. His clothes, white, with tints of green and gold. Save for his all too earthly eyes, amber but now more gold, he would have been a statue of mist.  
  
For that brief moment we all stared at him, and he stared at us, his eyes wide, alarmed. Then he whipped around. Yue acted quickly, shooting a crystal, wounding what use to be Syaoran. The ghost cried out, and we were slightly startled at how it changed. It was still his voice, only brighter, more musical, and a sense of unreality. He stumbled, falling to his knees, and Yue was upon him.  
  
" Hold him still!" I heard Eriol cry. I was too stunned to move, and in the back of my mind I wondered how the others could possibly think in the time like this. Syaoran was so pale, so scared, filled with terror, and then I lost into his eyes, drowning into their fear. I remember someone holding my shoulders gently, whispering sweet nothings into my ear, and recognized it to be Oni-chan; he too was shakened.   
  
What happened next was blurry. Syaoran fled, terrified, and Kero shot after him. Eriol threw something out and it hit Syaoran in the neck. He fell, and Kero caught up, pinning him to the ground with his paws. Syaoran began to writhe, sobbing. Before I knew it, I was running, with Oni-chan in front of me. We reached where he was.  
" He's a fast runner!" Kero panted. " Barely caught him!"  
" I managed to throw the circlet here." Eriol pinned Syaoran's arms behind his back. " It will prevent him from transforming into any other form. Poor boy. It's alright," He lifted the ghost of Syaoran up, and cradled his upper body, preventing him from escaping.  
  
I should have helped Eriol. I really should have. But I froze there, unable to move, to advance or retreat. And they understood when I didn't. Why didn't I do something? Is it because I was still suffering from the shock?  
  
They said nothing about it. Instead, they helped Syaoran as they could. Syaoran remained silent, whimpering in that strange voice of his, a ghostly voice like a heavenly angel. I slowly felt the shock waver and fade. Dropping down to my knees beside him, I placed my hand on his shoulder.  
  
Oh gods, for the first time I saw him as himself. I saw an innocent child. A child that was scared, lonely, desperate, completely confused by those around him. I did not see him as Li Syaoran, Card captor of the cards, descendant of Clow Reed. I saw him as simply Syaoran, his spirit. He was so beautiful, as if he had sprung from the light of the moon itself, and those eyes that were filled with color not born of this world. We stared into each other's eyes, and slowly I felt Syaoran relax under my hand, the fear slowly evaporating as his eyelids fell slightly, as if hypnotized. I smiled reassuringly, stroking his nearly white hair, and he just stared and stared, until finally his eyes fell shut and his breathing evened out.  
  
" That was amazing." Eriol blinked, impressed. " Yue, Touya, Nakuru, Kaho-one of you, carry him. We're going to my house."  
" Of course." Yue lifted Syaoran's limp form. " He's so light."  
" He's a ghost, baka." Oni-chan swallowed. " Gods, he's white. Never thought he'd look so...weird."  
" He's something like an angel." Tomoyo commented, holding her camera.  
" Nothing short of it. Except the wings." Yue answered softly. " Poor child."  
  
I summoned the Move Card. And in a pink flash we were in Eriol's living room. Startled, Syaoran woke, staring around him, and then saw Yue. Fear returned to his eyes as he blurted out a strangled shriek, then thrashed. Yue, alarmed, let go of him. Syaoran landed on the floor with a cry, then withdrew his legs under him, trying to get up, then stopped, staring at all of us. With a wave of his hand, Eriol barred all doors. Syaoran cannot transform. He was trapped.  
  
" That was easier than I thought." Kaho said, relieved. " Ghosts are hard to catch. It's a good thing we caught him by surprise."  
  
And I saw him, sitting there, staring about him in despair. Quickly I made my way over him and knelt by his side. He looked at me, his eyes filled with more hope, a silent plead. I shook my head sadly. We are not letting him go. We've let him go for too long.  
  
Backing away, he continued to stare at me, silent as he always been. I smiled reassuringly.  
" Don't be afraid." I told him. " We're not going to hurt you."  
  
Staring at me doubtfully he remained where he was, looking into the eyes of everyone nearby. There was an uncomfortable silence.  
" What should we do now?" I asked.  
" I'll go get his body." Kaho said, somewhat stiffly. " I'll be back in a flash." Walking out the door she disappeared.  
  
Syaoran had a look of confusion. I smiled reassuringly at him again, patting his arm gently.  
  
" Come on, Syao-chan." Eriol bent down, taking Syaoran's hand. " Let's get you some rest, shall we? It's been quite a day."  
  
Reluctantly Syaoran let Eriol lead him upstairs. We followed, a little surprised that Syaoran made no protest against the nickname. It looks like Kaho was right, after all.   
  
  
  
Eriol probably knew him best, now that I think of it. How did he know that Syaoran was tired? For when the ghostly boy sank down beneath the covers he immediately fell asleep, silently breathing as he always had.   
  
" Kawaii." I couldn't help but comment. Tomoyo took her time, filming the entire scene. All this time Syaoran didn't even know she was there, let alone recording his actions. Smiling mischievously, I winked at Tomoyo, and boldly planted a kiss on his cheek. I was thinking about the play that we did, Sleeping Beauty. He's certainly the beauty now!  
  
But unlike the play, Syaoran didn't wake up. He was too exhausted to wake from physical contact. I smiled and waved at the camera, with Tomoyo giggling. Both of us knew I would never have the courage to do that when Syaoran is awake. Giggling again, I went over to Tomoyo, and we quietly shut the door.  
  
  
  
He must have been sleeping for hours, during which Kaho flung open the door in horror.  
  
" His body...it just rotted, right before my eyes!" I have never seen her look so scared. " And then all that's left were...nothing."  
  
  
  
" Oh dear." Eriol breathed, calming himself. " So Syaoran's trapped in a ghost form."  
" Is he still here though?" Tomoyo asked.  
  
There was a few seconds pause, and then all of us charged up the stairs. Opening the door quietly, we sighed in relief as Syaoran was still there, wrapped in blankets, sleeping deeply from exhaustion.  
" I'll stay with him." I offered. The others nodded. Closing the door behind me, I pulled up a chair and sat down beside the bed, and simply studied him.  
  
Sure, this time, he was still mostly white. His skin had absolutely no color in them at all, and had a feeling of transparency in them. His eyes were closed, his eyelashes darker because of the tints of brown. His brows, white, with tints of brown. White hair drooped over his forehead. The heavy blankets rose and fell with his breathing.   
  
This time, he was kawaii. The beauty was still there though. A kind of crystal beauty that I have never seen in Syaoran before. Syaoran shifted slightly, blinking open his eyes, and stared at me for a second.  
  
Then he shot up, alarmed-and fell back.  
  
Pushing him back down and pinning him there, I gave him the best glare I could muster.  
" Stay." I said.  
  
He blinked, confused, then comprehension took hold. He relaxed. I straightened, and walked to the door.  
" Eriol-kun! Yue! Kero-chan! Syaoran's awake!"  
  
I heard a rush of steps. Eriol came first, followed by Yukito, Nakuru, Tomoyo and Oni-chan, who carried both Spinel and Kero. They came into the room, startling Syaoran and quickly made their way over to his bedside.  
" Hey kiddo!" Kero greeted affectionately, sitting on Syaoran's lap. " How are you feeling?"  
  
Obviously surprised and confused, Syaoran stared at the guardian for a minute, than looked at everyone else, silent.  
  
" We've been looking for you." Yukito said gently.  
" Hai!" Tomoyo agreed. " We thought we lost you for good!"  
" Oh," Syaoran blinked, and we started a little at his voice. We weren't use to it.  
" Are you feeling better?" I asked, although the question didn't really make sense.   
" Hai..." Syaoran answered cautiously.  
" Don't feel like talking, do you?" Eriol smiled as sincerely as he could. When he smiles like that it makes you want to trust him, unlike...other times. He patted Syaoran's pale white hand, surprising the other a little.  
" Where am I?" Syaoran asked quietly.  
" You're at my place." Eriol answered. " We wanted you to go back to your body...but something happened to it. Are you alright?"   
  
Syaoran hesitated for a long time.  
" I don't know."  
  
At this Eriol didn't know how to answer. Kaho entered the room.  
" Ohayo, Syaoran." She joked. " Did you have a good rest?"  
  
Syaoran started, blinking, but said nothing.  
" He certainly did, sleeping for an hour or so." Oni-chan laughed.  
  
Syaoran lied back down, holding his head, wincing.  
" Are you alright?" I asked, worried.  
  
Syaoran opened his eyes. " Why did you do that?"  
" Do what?"  
" Trap me?"  
  
For a moment there was a silence.  
" You weren't really dead, Syaoran. We wanted to save you."  
" Save me from what?" Syaoran asked bitterly.  
" Li, you've been trying to reach Sakura for some time now." Eriol began. " What did you want to say to her?"  
  
Syaoran stared at him, freezing. Then he closed his eyes.  
" It's too late." He finally answered. " It's no use now. The body's gone. I can't come back."  
" But you are back, Syaoran..."  
" You call this back?" The ghost uttered something like a sob, but it was so beautiful I didn't know what it was. So unearthly...  
" I can't go about like this." He was crying, pure, crystalline tears rolling down his white cheeks. " I wanted to go home. I can't face them this way-"  
" It's alright." I assured him. " Don't worry. We'll explain..." But I felt so bitter all of the sudden.  
" I'm so cold." Syaoran suddenly said.   
  
I gathered Syaoran's upper body into my arms.  
" We have chicken soup ready if you want to eat." Tomoyo suggested. " Do ghosts eat?"  
" Do guardian's eat?" Syaoran answered. " I think I can use...a little..."  
" Great! Sakura, help him down the stairs. I'll set the table." Tomoyo went out the door.  
" Wait! Eriol shouted. " I'm coming with you!"  
  
  
  
" Are you sure you don't want more?" I frowned. Syaoran was a frustrating eater as a ghost. He probably drank three spoonfuls and decided it was enough.  
" Come on, Syaoran! Even Eriol eats more than that!" Tomoyo joked. Eriol smiled, glaring at her playfully.  
" I don't feel like eating." Syaoran answered quietly. We were suddenly silent.  
" What's wrong Syaoran-kun?" I asked.  
  
Syaoran tugged slightly at the circlet around his neck and swallowed, not answering. He closed his eyes, and I saw his skin slowly blacken. But then the whiteness appeared again.  
" You can't do that." Eriol said gently. " Do you want me to take it off?"  
  
Syaoran nodded eagerly, his eyes suddenly bright and glowing.  
" Only if you promise not to escape." Eriol had a look of sadness. He was treating Syaoran like a captive, which he more or less is.  
  
Syaoran nodded slowly, with more reluctance this time, and Eriol muttered a spell. The circlet vanished. Syaoran swallowed, a little at loss.  
" Everything is going to be alright now." I assured him the best I could. And then he gave me a look, a calm sorrow glistening in his tears.  
  
" Everything was right." He swallowed. " Until now."  
  
  
  
Rain pattered down. It was a dull morning. I was in my own room, with Kero eating quietly. Who would have known everything would be so calm, so peaceful. Far away I heard a beautiful voice, singing into the gray skies,  
  
" Jin tian yu xia,  
Xia zhe yan lei,  
Yun piao zai tian shang,  
Hui hui de tian,  
  
Jin tian yu xia,  
Yan lei zai ku,  
Zhi bu zhi dao wei le shei liu zhe lei,  
Dao wei le ni.  
  
Sakura, Sakura,  
Na nei ni no, Sakura,  
Yie Ying Hua, Yie Ying Hua,  
Ni shang wo de xin..." 


	5. Chapter 5

Ten Thousand Drops of Blood  
  
Chapter 5  
  
I am so tired. I feel so tired. When was the last time I felt this way? Some time ago, when I had fainted. When I had sank into a sleep that I never woke from. Spirits aren't supposed to be tired.  
  
They don't understand. Not even Sakura. They don't understand why I left in the first place. They don't know who I am. I didn't know who I was until I left. Sorcerers don't just go to the Land of Mystical Dreams whenever they are depressed. It doesn't work that way. There are gods, goddesses, searching for whoever is worthy of such relief. And those spirits were granted the ability and privilege to pass between worlds in any form they choose, and are even granted the chance to go back to life while time lasts. My time was up. My body had disappeared.  
  
They don't know who I am. Even as they sat there, smiling at me, their eyes full of worry and affection. They don't know who I am, who I was. Because now I remember everything.  
  
  
  
I was a chosen one. A long time ago, it seemed like centuries, when I was a small child. I had fallen upon a book which I took home with me. In it spoke of a mortal spirit who will become god. And I saw the picture of the ghost, all white and beautiful, with earthly eyes that cannot be drawn. It told of the future. This child would experience failure before the victory. It told of the Clow Cards, of the misunderstandings, of how the boy died for no reason and was allowed into the most beautiful land there was.  
  
Now that I look in the mirror I saw the same boy in the book. But I did not feel victorious. I feel at loss. The others do not know why I left in the first place. They have not seen the scars. Every crystal from the Final Judgment left its mark permanently on my skin. Every wound from Eriol's trials remained for all to see. They did not know that every mark shed one drop of pure red blood, every word that wounded my heart pierced and a single drop of blood dripped out. One drop, from each wound. And these drops become flowers. They become cherry blossoms, peonies, roses and morning glories. So that this world lived on my pain.  
  
  
  
It was strange. Because Japan was the home I loved the most. It was also the place where the most flowers grew. Here I was lonely and no one cared, because no one knew who I was. And now I am the spirit born to be a god, trapped within the wills of the mortal, and living sorcerers around me.   
  
  
  
Love is a powerful thing. One should not play with it. In a way Sakura did, loving carelessly, without thought. She does not know how powerful love really is, how easily it could turn to hate, how violently it can affect her future. Iie, Sakura is young. Sakura is naïve. That is not always a good thing, because she was so immature. She doesn't know the pain of the world, true sorrow and defeat, as I have. She does not know how it really is to lose oneself, to follow not ones desires but one's judgment alone. She doesn't know how it feels like to not know who you really are, whether you are good or evil. She doesn't know.  
  
Which is why she is so innocent, you see. Innocent beyond comparison, like everyone around her. Sometimes I wonder, why is it that only I see these things? Why is it that only I wonder who I am, that I am the only one who lost myself?  
  
But as I look around me, I saw what was going on. No one knows who they really are. The only difference was the others never attempted to find out. And it pained me to see the others feeding on my sorrow, those blossoming flowers blooming from my very blood. Each flower was so beautiful, so pure. They bloom with life. Which shows the world, feeding on each other's blood, with new life given from another's death.  
  
  
  
The circlet was more than just a device to trap spirits. It takes away their energy. It takes away their magic. Eriol probably didn't know that. Kaho probably didn't either. But there was so much they didn't know. Eriol, Kaho, with their perfect lives, all powerful and all mighty and godlike forms. Mocking the ignorant, when it is they who are blinded. As a ghost I saw everything, though I couldn't comprehend. I love the night. I love the day. I fear others. I fear life. I want love and warmth, friendship and trust, but am reluctant to give or accept it. So many things. Does Eriol know doubt? Does Kaho know pain? Do either of them know loss? No, of course not. Eriol is the reincarnation of Clow Reed, and that is all he needs to know. Kaho is Sakura's assistant, and that is all she needs to know. Neither bother to find out more. Neither remember that their lives do not circle around magic alone. Because if magic is so important to the living, all will have it. Not just the chosen ones.  
  
Yue. Oh Yue. I remember the first time I saw him. Godlike and divine, a picture of power both frightening and fair. He knows even less. He does not know happiness, he does not know sorrow. He only knows his duty, and as a guardian that is perhaps the one appropriate thing he should know. Cold and heartless, is perhaps the two descriptions of him that will remain with me for all eternity. Cold beauty and grace. Everything is cold. Does he know what he did to me? So many drops of blood, so many blossoms, blooming in the Living Realm. And the strangest thing was, those drops did not fall in the Final Judgment. It fell after, when I went home, and found twenty three marigolds on the green covers of the bed. But the number of drops were more than that. He wounded my pride. He wounded my confidence. And perhaps that shall never be regained.  
  
  
  
Kero. Spinel. The two of them are like brothers. They do not realize how alike they are. More blinded than the rest. I could not understand how they could distract themselves so, as if the world were nothing but a feast or banquet. Do they even know what suffering means? I do not know. It seems to me that all they know is the moment. They don't think of the future, nor do they truly think of the past.  
  
Touya. Big brother Touya. The one that sees but refuses to know. He was the only one of the entire group that covers his own eyes with his own hands. What nonsense is that? And yet it's true. He probably, is the only one who knows who I am. He probably knows me the least, because he refuses to see.  
  
He is the only one that refuses to see.  
  
  
  
I am so tired, and so cold. I feel so scared. I'm not supposed to be here like this. I'm not supposed to be caught like this. And yet I am trapped. I can't leave without breaking a promise. I can't stay because I simply don't want to. I've lost so much in this world. I do not want to lose more. So many drops of blood. So many shreds of flesh. So much of my heart, given for the sake of love. No one knows the prices for everything I give. That's why I'm so reluctant to give it. It's the same with everything. The trust, once given, can be used against you, once again, turning blood into little blossoms. Using your pain for their own happiness. I gave the last of everything I have to Sakura that fateful night when Yue first appeared. Ever since that night. And now I lost everything of who I am and who I was. Because I had so carelessly flung away everything I had.  
  
Sakura. Sakura. She's in danger too. She does not know what kind of world she is living in. So many dangers, so much pain, she doesn't know. Yet she is so young. Eleven year olds aren't supposed to know such things. It's too early. But Sakura, she's flinging away so much already, and unlike me, was blind to the prices. Why is she the one who always tosses them to the right people and the right situations? Why is it that she manages to protect herself, even as she makes herself so vulnerable? Why is it that I always lose everything, while she ends up gaining? Is it because she's the Card Mistress?  
  
And now I lost my life. I lost my confidence. I lost the ability to feel warm. I am so cold. I am so tired. I am so scared. Because I have nothing left except my soul. And I'm afraid I will lose that as well. 


	6. Chapter 6

Ten Thousand Drops of Blood  
  
Chapter 6  
  
We never did get use to his voice because for a long time he never used it. Ever since his stay it began to rain, sometimes hard, sometimes light, but never stopping. Occasionally there would be so few drops it would seem like it was only the water gathered on the leaves of the higher trees, but it is not. For the sky remained cloudy and grey, and the moon never shone.  
  
There was a time when Syaoran stayed over at Eriol's home. But as he became more and more quiet and inactive, Eriol turned to me. Strange. Although Yukito was perhaps a good caretaker, I was not. But Eriol insisted.  
  
" After all," He pointed out, " Out of all of us, you probably understand his way of thinking best. I mean, you share the same magic. There is probably a kind of link, and so far, neither Kaho or Nakuru are doing much of a good job, and Fujitaka probably won't be happy with a new addition in his household."  
  
Definetely seeing the point in that, I decided to accept having a ghost child in my household, and for a brief while he seemed even more quiet than ever. But no one, perhaps, could really resist Yukito, especially when he was in his most motherly self, and I guess Syaoran had a really hard time finding someplace by himself.  
  
  
  
The truth was, I didn't really want to talk to him, despite Eriol's persuasions. But Yukito was famous for being the exact opposite of whoever I am supposed to be, and decided to chase Syaoran without being apparent. Syaoran was quiet and Yukito wouldn't have that, and pretty soon, and perhaps fortunately, Syaoran found himself talking to Yukito.  
  
And gods, the things he told him. I could never imagine a child his age, already thinking of such thoughts. So many secrets, slowly leaking out, but he was so scared, looking at us with those deep eyes, as if asking for an answer to an unknown plea.  
  
And days later, that plea became known.  
  
" Please don't tell anyone."  
  
  
  
And that was when I realized what everything he told me was.   
  
  
  
It's hard not to love the boy, now that he had lost everything he could protect himself with. He was purely a vulnerable child, cursed with threats of life. Sometimes attacks would come and he would fall on his knees, sobbing for no reason, not letting anyone touch him until he exhausts himself. The proud child of the Li clan was really a tormented soul, more tormented than any other child his age.  
  
  
  
" So he opened up to you and Yukito."  
" More towards Yukito, though."  
" But not to Sakura."  
" Sakura's probably the one that hurted him most."  
" Alright," Eriol was clearly not making any sense out of this. " So...he mentioned something about blood turning into flowers."  
" And I saw the scars. He didn't know."  
  
At this Eriol visibly swallowed.  
" Ugh, Yue, what have we done?"  
" I have no idea." He's your descendant, after all."  
" Curse it with that!" Eriol snapped, startling me. " I know. I know." He rubbed his temples. " Reincarnation of Clow Reed, going mad. Call the police. Right. But I can't believe I let that slip!" He sighed.  
" Alright, I'm calm now." Eriol sat down, chewing on his finger, something I never saw him do before. " What else did he say?"  
" He told me about the land of Mystical Dreams." I answered sadly. " And the only reason it's perfect is because there's nothing in it."  
  
At this Eriol visibly choked, and then shook his head.  
" Land of Mystical Dreams. No wonder the ghosts wander here all the time." Eriol sighed and looked distraught. I almost felt sorry for him.  
  
" Why are you so worried about this?" I suddenly asked, before I could stop myself. Eriol stared at me blankly, in pure shock, before settling in uncomfortably.  
" I guess I care a lot about Syaoran." He answered quietly.  
" You do, don't you," I answered, for once using sarcasm. " After all the scorn you've shown him."  
  
And the look on Eriol's face-it was the one that I'll always remember.  
  
  
  
It was the first time I let Syaoran out. It was dark at night. I had insisted that he wear something other than his ghostly robes, which he finally agreed to. But more or less he still looked like a ghost.  
  
  
  
  
It was the park that we went to, although still raining, but only several drops every ten minutes. Syaoran, with his eerie figure, was speaking with his musical voice, which sounded more like singing than speaking. No one else heard his voice except me and Yukito, and for a time I felt very happy. But Sakura. Why wasn't he talking to her?  
  
The answer came that night, when Syaoran spoke in his musical voice, all beautiful and singing,  
" She doesn't know what love is." And such despair in his voice. I've never heard it before, " She doesn't know what love is, so she can't love. I don't want her to hurt me."  
  
And it was as if she would hurt him.  
  
  
  
" Nightmares."  
" What nightmares?" I asked.  
" Blood, death, burning flame, flowers, flowers, everywhere." Syaoran closed his eyes. " Flowers."  
  
For a moment I didn't understand. I did not know why the thoughts of flowers would bother him, for he never explained why his blood should turn into them. I have never seen them for myself, so I figured it was only a figurative speech.  
  
But then I saw them. Blood, dripping from his mouth, down his chin, then disappearing into seven roses of the loveliest color.  
  
Picking up one of the pink roses I stared at them in blank disbelief, than turned my attention on Syaoran, who was still bleeding.  
  
Why was he bleeding?  
  
" Tired Yue." He mumbled, his voice muffled. " So tired. Want to go back."  
" Shh," I told him, " Don't worry. Do you want to rest?"  
  
But he was already asleep.  
  
  
  
Darkness.  
  
I remember, a thousand years ago, there spoke of a child of utmost perfection. A child of beauty and grace, filled with wisdom. But this child was filled with pain.  
  
And now, when I look at his picture, the last photograph we took, and compared him with the one before, I realized the two were nearly exactly the same.  
  
The first and earlier one was a picture of when Syaoran was alive. There was the brown hair, the browner eyes, the solemn expression, the traditional robes. He was standing on top of the tower, or rather, he was, because in the photo he was leaping high into the sky, giving the impression that he was flying.  
  
It was Tomoyo who took the picture, actually. She never did show Syaoran the picture, only showed Kero, Sakura, and me. Then there was the second picture of Syaoran, in all his whiteness, actually smiling, wearing his original robes, now white and waving. He was waving at the camera, holding Sakura's hand, who was blushing. The picture somehow captured his unearthly form perfectly, with his golden eyes, bright and glowing, showing the inner child within.  
  
  
  
When day came, Syaoran was not there. For a long time I stood there, not comprehending. Then I hurriedly contacted Eriol.  
  
He was pale, and nervous, fidgety as Eriol could ever get, and even as he meditated I could see the worry on his face.  
  
" I don't know where he went." Eriol finally answered, helplessly. " He seemed to be gone for good. I don't know." He sighed.  
  
For a moment the entire group was silent. And I suddenly remembered what Syaoran had said. The nightmares. The pain. The drops of blood, turning into flowers.  
  
Without a word, I took Sakura's hand, and flew out.  
  
  
  
He was lying among the flowers as if posing for a painting. But I knew where those flowers came from. It was in a meadow, in one of the botanical gardens. He was laying there, a still form, all pale and white, for all the red blood, made redder by his skin, was gone.  
  
" What's the meaning of this?" Sakura asked softly, as everyone else caught up with us.  
" Syaoran," I said gently. Syaoran didn't move.  
  
" What's going on here?" Kero asked seriously. " What's he doing here?"  
" Ghosts have strange notions." Was all I said as I gently lifted him up. Syaoran blinked, opening his eyes weakly and stared at me.  
" ?" He questioned.  
" Hey," Sakura said gently. " We've been looking all over for you. Are you alright?"  
" Eahgh!" He hissed, and I hurriedly let go of him.  
" What happened?" Sakura asked.  
  
I turned around. " Ghosts aren't supposed to be alive, are they?"  
  
  
And they knew what I meant.  
  
  
There was one thing Kaho forgot to mention that time when we were trying to find Syaoran. Ghosts cannot remain in the Living Realm for too long. There is a time limit. And Syaoran was beginning to pass it. And when a spirit passes the limit, he begins to fade, or bleed in Syaoran's situation.   
  
And I thought about Syaoran, having nothing left but his soul, nothing left but those eyes, now pure dark gold. They were starting to darken even more, focusing completely on Sakura's eyes, seeming to lock in place as the eyelids drooped over them.  
  
" Iie, stay with us, Syaoran-kun," Sakura said worriedly, not knowing what danger Syaoran was in. 


	7. Chapter 7

Ten Thousand Drops of Blood  
  
Chapter 7  
  
We just had him, right there, and now he's slipping.  
  
It's hard not to see why. Syaoran's body has gone. Syaoran's soul remains, but it is not for our taking. He trusts only Yue because Yue was the one he spent most of his afterlife with. He still loves Sakura but does not trust her.  
  
I never really had a chance to talk with him after we found him in the gardens, and where Yue spoke of the little drops of blood, forming small, lovely little blossoms, flowers of light and life. But one day he came to me, solemn and fair, an angel on earth.  
  
" Time is running out." He said, his voice like bells. I started, still unused to his voice.  
" Hai, indeed." I said, weary. " What of it?"  
" I'm not staying."  
  
At first I nodded, understanding what he meant, but conflicted on whether to ask or not.  
" Why?" I finally replied.  
  
Syaoran moved gracefully over to the balcony and I followed. It was night, the stars are bright, the rain finally clearing. Time was indeed, running out.  
" So many things on this planet." He finally answered, like a god stroking smooth water. " So many things. Fair and beautiful."  
  
I nodded.  
" Yet I don't belong here."  
  
Blinking, I looked at him. " How do you know?"  
" I remember when I was a child." He answered. " I found a book speaking of a lost boy that will become god. Shortly after, there was a Moon Festival. The Li clan cruised along a boat down a calm, large lake, under the full moon. It was a perfect night, the sky was clear, the moon was bright. I remember staring at the moon, thinking that the moon follows me everywhere, that it is always watching over me. My sisters laughed at that, saying, what are you talking about? The moon does not follow you. But I look and watch, and it does."  
  
I nodded, knowing the mind of young children, urging him to go on.  
" When I looked down into the water, I saw the moon's reflection. Reaching out, I try to touch it, knowing it was water but curious to see if it feels the same. Is it colder than normal water? Is it warmer? Does it feel like water?" Syaoran smiled.   
" And you fell in." I guessed.  
" Iie." He smiled. " It does seem likely, doesn't it, for a young child. But instead, a huge monster broke through the face of the moon. It was glaring, with wide, sharp teeth. Long body, covered with scales. I withdrew my hand. I looked up at the moon. But the moon, where is it? Where has it gone? And as I searched, I found the moon, this time white as newly fallen snow, and I saw my own shadow resting on it, just as the water beast longed for my throat."  
  
I held my breath.  
  
" Iie." Syaoran answered. " This wasn't the first time I died. On the night of the full moon I woke in darkness, and the moon was nowhere to be seen. But there was blood, round puddles of blood, surrounding me, voices whispering and murmuring, sobbing and wailing. Eyes stare into mine."  
" You were...brought back to life through magic?" I blinked, finally realizing where the story was going. " But...how?"  
" That does not matter." Syaoran answered. " Because unlike most other people who miraculously revived, I remember everything before the murmurs and the sobs. I remember flying through the land in a single swoop, seeing death, horror, love and betrayal. When I woke things were never the same."  
" People don't know what life is until they pass to the other side, Eriol. People don't know what living feels like because that's what they've been doing all along. But when one comes from the other realm back into the living world, it feels like the very strength of the earth is pulling at their body, forbidding them to rise, to fly, to open their eyes. The burdens of life do not just rest on shoulders, Eriol. They rest on the whole body. They don't just weigh you down. They flatten you, crush you, until you are like the flowers you step on, deformed and lifeless."  
" And I saw how people threw away everything they have, fast or slow. Because innocence, well, innocence is the human being. And as the being grows, the innocence is lost, fast or slow. Shreds were ripped away to be replaced by outside influences. Until all that's left is a pile of dust, the image of what could have been." Syaoran closed his eyes.  
  
I finally understood. Syaoran had died and come back to life before. He had seen the living from the other side. He remembered what he saw, which made him different from the rest of us. It showed why his blood became life. And now, now he's seen enough.  
  
" Are you willing to go to a land where nothing is?" I asked.  
" I will not go there." He answered softly, the wind carrying his voice so that it seemed far away. " I will go where the immortals live."  
" Then what of Sakura?"  
" Sakura?" Syaoran started, and then hesitated, as if unsure how to answer.  
" Did you forget about her?" I asked, trying hard to avoid sounding annoyed and surprised.  
" Iie." He answered. " I did not forget."  
  
So I waited. And for a time he did not answer. Slowly he shifted. His dark eyes looked into mine.  
" Sakura." He said. " Innocent young Sakura. One who never met death face to face. For if she had, then would she be afraid of spirits? Like many others she has never been tainted by darkness, and hopefully never will for a long time. Iie. I will not stay for the sake of Sakura."  
" Why?" I asked softly.  
  
Syaoran smiled. It was a smile I probably will never see when he is alive.  
" Did Clow Reed remain for the sake of his guardians? For the sake of his magical cards?" He asked. Then he smiled again, a very tender, gentle smile.  
" There are some times when love is not strong enough to make life bearable, Eriol. There are times when love retreats and death takes over. Love is a powerful thing. But if you tamper too much with it, love becomes hate. Hate becomes death. Life and Death are the true forces. Love is but a shadow of life."  
  
" I want you to do a favor for me Eriol." He said to me.  
" What?" I asked. " Anything."  
  
Taking a dagger, small and sharp, he lifted his left hand and stabbed a wrist before I could protest. A single drop of blood formed and became a peony.  
  
" When I go I want you to give this to her." Syaoran said. I accepted the flower, surprised that my hands were trembling. " And when you do, say these words for me. Tell her that the world is beautiful, and that she is beautiful. Tell her that there are some things too precious to give. Tell her that she needs to learn to protect herself. That there are more forces in this world than love alone. And when you give this to her, tell her that this flower represents my heart and everything it contains. And when she meets someone who she thinks she loves, to ponder on giving this same flower to him. To tell that person that this flower, too, represents her heart and everything it contains. And if that person understands, than she knows that person loves her back. Tell her that this flower would live as long as she lives, for this flower came from my spirit, my soul."  
" Wh-why don't you give it to her?" I asked.  
" I'm leaving tomorrow night." He answered simply. " And I do not want to bleed again."  
  
  
  
After Syaoran left I comtemplated on what he said. And for a while I wondered what Clow Reed would do. What would he do for his descendant? That talk made me realize how little I knew of him. But what would Clow Reed do?  
  
It was why I never spoke to Sakura until the last minute, the last few minutes. The sky by then was perfectly clear, and the fullest moon shone out of date. Sakura had been in the park when I spoke with her.  
  
" There's something he wants to give you." I told her. And Sakura had looked at me, all confused. And I gave her the lovely peony, with all its fairness and grace, and told her what Syaoran instructed me to say.  
  
" But why?" She asked softly, when I finished. And for a moment I looked into her eyes and understood why Syaoran wanted me to say what I did. There is so much in Sakura. So much, endless love and empathy. So little understanding and yet so much will to try. I smiled at her.  
  
" He loves you." I said. " And that is the only reason there is."  
  
  
  
Sakura stood there, all bewildered, with her eyes filled with tears, staring at the flower, the only thing that will be left, if she doesn't hurry.  
" Aren't you going to stop him?" Her voice rose, angry. " Aren't you going to stop him from doing this?"  
" From doing what?" I asked calmly. I did not know why I felt so good. Maybe because I knew I was doing the right thing. " Stop him from doing what? Do you know yourself, Sakura? Do you know what he sacrificed to be with you?"  
  
She stared at me in shock, silent. It was not her fault. She doesn't understand. She shouldn't understand, but I told her anyway.  
" This is one drop of blood." I pointed to that flower in her hand. " This is his drop of blood. This flower is one that he made, a drop of blood from his soul. This flower represents his heart and everything that means anything to him. It represents his hopes and dreams, the lessons he has learned, his sympathy, his trust, his vows, never to be fulfilled. This represents Syaoran."  
  
Sakura stared at me with a look of complete incomprehension. And I didn't blame her. She is too young to understand.  
  
" Have you ever wondered who Syaoran really is?" I asked her, seriously.  
" He's a good person." She was weeping, with tears trailing down her pale cheeks. " He was kind. He cares for others."  
" There's more to him than that." I said gently. " Know you what it is like to lose yourself? We all speak of such things but we don't know what it means. Sakura, Syaoran is going to the land of the gods. Do you think it is fair that he should stay in a corrupted world such as this for your sake? Love is not stronger than light, Sakura. Love is but a shadow of happiness."  
  
She still looked at me with those confused eyes of hers, and I sighed. For the first time I realized that age is rather important now.  
" I need to tell you something about Syaoran." I said. And I told her about the night of the full moon, with the crocodile and the round puddle of blood. I told her about how Syaoran revived, a different child, no longer innocent, no longer pure.  
  
  
  
When she departed, I went after her, but I was smiling. I knew I did the right thing. Because I knew that Clow Reed would be proud of Sakura. He would be even more proud of Syaoran, his grandson who knows how many times removed, but still bearing those drops of blood, ten thousand drops of blood from Clow Reed. I knew Clow Reed would be proud. Because I've never been prouder. 


	8. Chapter 8-Final Chapter

Ten Thousand Drops of Blood  
  
Chapter 8  
  
I ran as hard as I could. I ran home.  
" Oni-chan! Kero-chan!" I called, desperate, panting at the doorway. Sounds of footsteps on the stairs reached my ears. I waited, trying to catch my breath.  
" What's wrong?" Kero asked.  
" Syaoran." I panted. " It's Syaoran. He's leaving tonight. I don't know where he is!"  
" Whoa, calm down." Oni-chan instructed. " Tell me everything. Where did you get that flower?"  
" Don't touch it!" I snapped, immediately protective of it. " Syaoran gave it to me through Eriol. I need Yue, and, and, Kaho and everyone!"  
  
Blinking, Oni-chan nodded, still confused but willing to do what was asked. He went for the phone. I sat down on the couch, still gasping for breath, than ran up the stairs. I need the Sakura Book. I need to find Syaoran. I didn't care that Eriol came up with me. I just have to find him, have to talk with him. One last time.  
  
  
  
Minutes later, I was out. Flying high in the sky. I didn't care for the full moon. Curse it with all its smiling brightness. Wiping the gathering tears from my eyes I flew on with all the speed I had. I know where Syaoran was. In a meadow far away, covered with blossoms that are for once, not his own. Hopefully.  
  
The wind was cool. The night was fresh. I smelled flowers in the air, with all their light fragrance. I felt the wind caress my cheeks. Lift my hair. I felt my heart swell. So many things to say. So little time. So many things I do not understand. Why? Why don't I understand? I saw the look in Eriol-kun's eyes. I saw. How he looked at me, as he tried to explain, a faint note of frustration, but a sad and sorrowful acceptance.  
  
Why is everyone so quiet? Why isn't anyone saying anything? Why are they just accepting this? Even Tomoyo was silent, not offering any comfort. She didn't even bring her camera.  
  
I looked at the peony in my hand. So pure, so weak, so vulnerable. A picture of simplicity. Yet this simple flower represents so much. It represents Syaoran and everything he had. Everything he wanted to give. Everything he wanted to receive. Faintly I remember the story of the Rose Elf, of how the beautiful maiden found her love, slayed, beheaded, and took home the only thing she could take, along with a jasmine flower, and from the jasmine flowers there rose justice against the murderer. Just like that jasmine, the peony represents Syaoran.  
  
Syaoran. Now white as new fallen snow. Syaoran. Now light as the wind, fair as the moon. Syaoran, with a voice like those of an angel. He is leaving me. He's going to leave. I will never see him again.  
  
  
  
When I got there, the meadow is indeed surrounded by blossoms. But there was one thing that does not belong. There was a gate. Golden and intricately carved. It was opened, and I saw the beings within. They were magical, not white, but beautiful nonetheless. They are not angels. They're gods.  
  
I also saw Syaoran, like a snow ghost, standing in front of the gate, taking in everything around him. His eyes landed on me and he smiled sadly, and didn't move, waiting for me to land. I did and ran to him.  
  
" Syaoran-kun!" I called. I didn't want him to leave me. " Syaoran-kun!"  
" Sakura." He answered. I ran up to him, gasping. " I've been waiting for you."  
" Why?" I asked. " Why are you doing this?"  
  
Syaoran smiled tenderly and I felt tears gather in my eyes yet again. He lifted his hand, and surprisingly it wasn't cold. It was warm and smooth, soft, perfect. He wiped away the tears that escaped my eyes and caressed my cheek.  
  
" Sakura." He began. " I love you. I love you as stars love the sky. As flowers love the sun. But one must remember that there are forces stronger than love. There are forces stronger than even the strongest known element in this world. Do not be fooled, Sakura." He smiled again.  
" This world is based on balance." He said. " Purity cannot survive. The battle is not between good and evil, but between the pure and the mixed. One day, when you lose some of your innocence, and recognize the darkness in this world, you will understand what light really is. Perhaps one day we'll meet again."  
" But why?" I still didn't understand, and was distressed. " Why are you leaving me if you love me?"  
  
Syaoran closed his eyes, his lashes dark as night. " I've never belonged here, Sakura." He finally answered. " And I cannot remain with the one that does not understand me. I cannot keep on losing myself, Sakura. Because I've lost so much." He stroked my hair tenderly as I stared at him, weeping and shaking with silent sobs.  
" Every drop of blood, Sakura, signifies something I have lost." He continued. " And I do not want to lose the ability to love. Do you understand now? Because all this time, I did not know who I am, who I was. But I know I can love. Love can be lost, Sakura. And despite what others say, once you lose the ability to love, you lose yourself. You can never get it back. And then you must be rid of in this world, for without love there is no balance. Love is a force of balance Sakura."  
  
" This world is very dark. I hope you will not realize that for a long time, but you must keep that in mind. You have a very good heart. You have a very good soul. There are many things waiting to take that away from you, to strip you until you are lost. Do not lose yourself. Remember, there are things that are too precious to be given to others. Trust can be given. Love can be given. But do not give yourself. Always remember that you are a good person, with a promising future, born to be happy and brave. Remember that what you want is who you are. And as a mortal you must know that you must not let others know who you are."  
  
" The one thing, that kept me the way I am now," He continued, my tears slowly drying, " The one thing that helped me keep my soul, is secrecy, Sakura. For no one knew who I was, and no matter how much I had tossed away during the short years in my life, I still kept my soul. This is what you must do too, Sakura. You must protect yourself." He sighed, and stepped back.  
  
" Syaoran-kun." I whispered. " I love you."  
" You don't." His answer surprised me, however gentle it was. " None of you do. You do not know what love is. Perhaps in the future you would truly love me. But now," He smiled tenderly. " Now is too early. Now is too soon. You do not love me. You do not know loss. And I hope you will not know what love is for a long long time."  
  
I was crying anew. Syaoran looked at the others.  
  
" Tomoyo, arigatou for being a good friend." He said softly. " You're the first one who realized my feelings for Sakura and had supported me all the way. Eriol, thank you for doing me that favor. You have no idea how much that means to me. Ruby Moon, Spinel, take care of your master. Kaho-san, forgive me for all the scores I can no longer settle with you. Touya, take good care of your sister. We both know how much she means to you. Kero, remember that there are times when you cannot always enjoy life. Remember that for the sake of your masters.Yue."  
  
Yue looked at him. Syaoran stared at Yue for a long while.  
  
" Yue, I have always looked up to you, wishing for your approval for everything I do." And I saw the surprise in Yue's eyes, but he listened silently. " I have always respected you deeply. You were the only one that was ever aware that there was more to my actions than there is to the eye. And at my most vulnerable moments you had provided a shoulder to lean on."  
" Yue, I want you to know that you need not fear death, for as a known writer had said," Syaoran smiled at Eriol. " ' There is a divinity that shapes our ends, rough-hew them how we will.' After Sakura you will have many masters, each one different and special in their own way. Remember that you are now a human being, guardian or not, and that you have the ability to make decisions. Your purpose in life is not simply to guard the master and the cards. Whatever your purpose is, it is yours to find out. No one knows what fate has planned for them." Syaoran smiled. " And remember, tears are not always bitter."  
  
Yue trembled, and Syaoran smiled sadly, and the two weilders of moon magic embraced, only briefly, but I saw something glistening down Yue's cheek, out of his closed eyes. Syaoran let him go, and then turned to me, taking my hand.  
  
" Perhaps one day we'll meet again."  
" Perhaps." I answered.  
" Take care of the flower." He said. " It means a lot to me."  
" It means to me as well." I answered.  
  
Syaoran smiled yet again. " The night is young."  
" Hai."  
" The stars are bright."  
" Hai..."  
  
Syaoran closed his eyes and we just stood there alone for a minute, feeling the wind brush past our bodies, lifting the petals of the flowers.  
  
" There is one more favor I want to ask. And it is from all of you." He said.  
" Anything." I said.  
" Anything." They said.  
  
Syaoran looked up.  
  
" Do not forget me." He said. " Speak of me when you will. Speak of me as I am. Do not forget that I had once lived, had been, will be."  
" Hai."  
" Promise me."  
" We shall not forget." We answered quietly.  
  
  
  
The gates were wide open and the gods were waiting patiently, affection and adoration already in their eyes, their arms wide open, ready to accept Syaoran when he is ready. Syaoran looked at me and then drew my face close, and our lips touched, lightly, briefly, just enough to show his love. Then we watched, as the wind began to pick up, and Syaoran, like a spirit that he was, made his way towards the gate.  
  
Step by step. He did not turn around. Step by step, and each step brought him closer to the gate. I held the flower to my heart. The flower of his blood, the flower that resembles everything Syaoran was, is, and will be.  
  
" Perhaps we shall meet again." I whisper. Syaoran did not stop. He did not answer. Each step became more determined, more confident, as he neared the gate to the other side, the paradise that will soon be his home.  
  
As soon as he was near enough to the gate, he stopped, and turned around. One last glance at us, was all he could spare. One last glance. Then he smiled, his most beautiful smile, a smile of an angel.  
  
" I love you." He said. And it wasn't just directed at me. We all knew.  
" We will not forget." We answered. Syaoran nodded.  
  
  
  
And than, already an immortal god, he passed through the gate, never to return. 


End file.
